Sir Brent: Male, a knight
Sir Wallace: Male, a knight
Ellis: Female, an adventurer
Hugo the Wise: Male, the worst curse breaker ever
Jemma: Female, a friendly necromancer
Regina: Female, an exasperated citizen
Chester: Male, member of Bards with Beards
Jet: Male or female, member of Bards with Beards
Allan: Male, member of Bards with Beards
Tina: Female, healer
Lights up on Sir Brent and Sir Wallace.
Sir Brent: Wallace, I cannot believe you.
Sir Wallace: But sir, I—
Sir Brent: No. I don’t wan’t to hear it. I told you in confidence about that cave and what do you do?
Sir Wallace: You have to understand—
Sir Brent: WHAT DO YOU DO?
Sir Wallace: I…slay the dragon.
Sir Brent: Exactly! That was the coolest thing I’d found all week! I was going to ask my bard friend to write a song about this! Do you know who my bard friend is?
Sir Wallace: No.
Sir Brent: The lead singer of Bards with Beards, Wallace. I could have had a song written about this by Bards with Beards.
Sir Wallace: With all due respect sir, we’re knights! When you said you’d found a cave with a dragon in it I just assumed you wanted me to—
Sir Brent: Well there’s your first problem! Never assume anything! You know what they say about assuming.
Sir Wallace: What’s that, Sir?
Sir Brent: That it makes an ass out of you and—
Lights down on Sir Brent and Sir Wallace. Lights up on Ellis and Hugo the Wise. This Transition should be as seamless as possible. Ellis and Hugo stand with a broken orb between them.
Ellis: Me? How can this possibly be my fault?
Hugo: Well, if you hadn’t given me the orb in the first place, I wouldn’t have dropped it!
Ellis: You’re called Hugo the Wise, not Hugo the Smasher of People’s Hard Earned Orbs!
Hugo: Really my dear, I can’t imagine why you’d want it. The thing was cursed, you know.
Ellis: (Incredibly aggravated.) Yes. I do know. Which is why I brought it here, to you, the only curse breaker in this god-forsaken town!
Hugo: I should probably tell you I’m not a very good curse breaker.
Ellis: Yeah I kinda got that.
Hugo: Well there’s no need to be so—
Lights go down on Ellis and Hugo the Wise and come up on Jemma and Regina. The Transition should be as seamless as possible.
Regina: When I told you I was sad that my cat died, I didn’t want you to bring it back to life!
Jemma: Well why not?
Regina: It’s just not the same!
Jemma: Mittens is perfectly fine! She was only dead for a day.
Regina: That’s not the point! I just wanted to talk to you as a friend, but you had to go and bring yourself into it.
Jemma: Well excuse me for trying to do something nice for you!
Regina: Nice for me?
Regina: Jemma, I’m a Cleric! I can’t exactly walk around with a necromanced cat, now can I?
Jemma: …I didn’t think of that
Regina: You rarely do. I’m just waiting for the day you do something really stupid like bring back a monster or something.
Jemma: …I should probably go.
Regina: …What did you do?
Jemma: Oh, nothing that can’t be undone with a well-placed sword.
Regina: Oh, tell me you didn’t. Not—
Lights down on Regina and Jemma. Lights up on the members of Bards with Beards with various instruments. The transition should be as seamless as possible.
Chester: Oh come on Allan, we’ve been at it all day!
Allan: And practice makes perfect.
Jet: We’ve been working on this song for weeks! Can’t we do something new?
Allan: Well we could have if Chester wasn’t a liar.
Chester: Hey come on, man. I swear my knight friend found a dragon!
Allan: Yeah? Then where’s our song about it?
Chester: Well I’m hardly going to write a song about a friendly dragon that ends with “then it died” now am I?
Jet: You know, he raises a good point Allan…
Allan: Shut it, Jet!
Jet: Wha— I was just gonna say that I know a necromancer who could help with the whole dead thing.
Allan: (Sarcastically.) Yeah and I know a curse breaker who breaks curses by not smashing the cursed object.
Chester: I like it… the song of the undead dragon…at any rate it’s a good title. (Jet nods enthusiastically.)
Allan: Chester, shut—
Lights go down on Chester, Jet and Allen and come up on Jemma, Sir Wallace, Ellis, and Tina. Sir Wallace is on the ground. Tina is leaning over him with medical supplies. The Transition should be as seamless as possible.
Tina: —Up, Jemma! Ellis, tell me what happened.
Ellis: (Panicked.) I don’t know. I was leaving Hugo the Unhelpful’s house and these two yokels came sprinting out of the forest chased by a very angry dragon—
Sir Wallace: (Weakly.) Wanted to surprise Sir Brent.
Jemma: You didn’t tell me the dragon was gonna try to kill you when I brought it back to life. If I’d known… I never would have…
Ellis: Yeah, you’re welcome for taking care of that, by the way.
Sir Wallace: (Very Dramatically.) I can see the light. I could have been…a legend…
Tina: Oh can it, Wallace. You’re going to be fine.
Jemma:…Would it make you feel better if I got Bards with Beards to write a song about this?