Joseph Ferguson II | Alone

I get it from my momma, he said.

I push problems,

I push people,

I push anything with meaning.

It’s not as easy as she thinks.

Trust me.

It takes some strength to push pain,

but way more effort

to push pleasure.

She doesn’t know my cold shoulder

says

I love her,

and my distance

says forever.

She still remembers my full hugs

and clumsy kisses.

I push to forget,

I push to be left,

I push who I am.

She doesn’t think I understand

how hard it is to give someone something

he never had.

Courage.

To push less, pull more.

To put my feelings on the floor

so no one ever walks all over hers.

To learn my emotional walls

may just be windows

I don’t wanna close.

I know,

I should tell her

pushing doesn’t make us any better,

yet it’s the one thing keeping me

together.

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